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Saturday 17 January 2015

It’s Not Easy To Be One Of KSA’s Many Wives –Queen Ahneva


Queen Ahneva Adegeye

Queen Ahneva Adegeye, African American wife of legendary juju musician, King Sunny Ade tells ‘Nonye Ben-Nwankwo how she came to Nigeria and her love for Africa
It seems you have always loved fashion?
I have always loved fashion and African fashion in particular. I was the President of Black Students Union when I was in high school. One of the mandates for my presidency was to create events that would help connect African Americans to the African heritage. It was mandatory for you to wear something African to every event. I found myself making all sorts of African wears and dresses.
But you hadn’t even visited Africa then?
No. I was just connected. I always had this drumming in my ear even when I was a little girl. I would always hear the sound ‘boom boom boom’ in my ears. It was the sound of a drum. It was an African rhythm. I would tell my parents about it. My father told me one day that my ancestors were the ones calling me back home.
So did the drumming stop when you got to Africa?
Oh yes it did. When I first got to Nigeria, I knelt down as soon as I stepped out of the aircraft, I prostrated and I kissed the ground. I was so drawn to being home and I was happy I kissed the ground. I went to the slave dungeons in Cape Coast, Ghana. I was there with the Association for Study of African Classical Civilisation. We had a symposium and part of our tour was to go to the slave dungeon. The women among us went to the prison where the females were kept. There was a door of ‘no return’ that all of our ancestors went out through when they were sold. They said anybody who went out from that door never came back home. I was supposed to go with everybody else after that session but I didn’t.

Why?
I had to return to the door of ‘no return.’ I went out through that door and came back through it. But before I walked back through that door, I just stood and was just imagining what was going on through our ancestors’ minds as they walked out of that door. I stood on the shores and I started praying and saying, ‘I am a daughter of the land and I have returned home. This is my home land.’ The first time I came to Africa, when I put my feet on the soil, I heard some clicking sounds. I was being made whole again. I felt I was being matched up in some ways. I could just feel myself being regulated. That drumming I used to have in my ears has ceased because I am home. I still believe that one day, a whole lot of Africans will come home.
So you are really happy to be home?
Oh yes. I cannot tell you how many times I have been called a foreigner and I always tell those who call me such that I am not a foreigner. I am an African. Our skin colour is the same.
But your friends in America must have felt you were doing something ridiculous when you were itching to come back to Africa.
They thought I was out of my mind. They said I was on drugs and I had a nervous breakdown. They kept asking why I had to go to this country where there was 419. I heard all the stories. But I told them they had been brainwashed. I have always been an advocate for Africa. This is part of the slave mentality that we are suffering from. I told them I was going home. I am an African first and an American second. I told them if I weren’t stolen, I would be home with my language and culture and my people. They used to call me the ‘crazy African lady.’ I was always talking about Africa and wearing my African garb. But I had a little culture shock when I got back home.
So when did the opportunity come for you to come home?
The first time I came home was through my good friend, Raymond Dokpesi. He and my husband were very good friends and they used to travel all around. When he came to America, he saw the work I was doing and he said that Africa needed to see the work and he would want me to come and do a show in Africa. He told me he would sponsor it and that was how I came in 1982.
Everybody thinks you were named Queen because you were married to King Sunny Ade?
No. I got that title before I got married to Sunny. I was even introduced to him as Queen of Designs the first time we met. I also hold the title of Jewel of Africa from a prestigious orginisation called Africa Focus.
How did you meet?
I was his designer. I was making all his wears. Anytime he came to the US, I would dance on the stage and put a crown that I designed for him on his head. We just had something going on.
So you never considered marrying an American when you were younger?
No! I had a couple of proposals before but I declined. I knew I wasn’t going to be in America for the rest of my life. I had always known I would come back home to Africa. I knew I would create my legacy and that of my children here.
Why did you choose to marry KSA?
I didn’t choose him, he chose me. We chose each other. Everything is in divine order. When my girlfriend said I should follow her to watch a juju artiste performing at UCLA, I was mesmerised. I hadn’t heard of him before. He was cute and he had dreamy eyes. He spoke the African language and I was blown away. My friend said I should come back stage and meet him and I went. It was a natural connection. I wasn’t pushing up on him anyway. He so much captivated me and got me going.
But he had other wives, didn’t you think of it?
If I had thought about it real strong and real long, I probably wouldn’t have married him. It is not the easiest thing to be ‘one of’ but you love who you love. He has a beautiful spirit and a wonderful heart. You just can’t help but love him. He has a way of treating all his wives like queens. When I am around, I feel like the only one and I am sure when the others are around, they feel like the only one. That is the magic for a man who has learnt how this polygamy thing works.
But don’t you feel sad at times?
The only thing I cry about most nights is being by myself a lot. He is absent all the time because he is always on the road and doing his music. That is what he loves and I cannot mess with that. It is what makes him happy. He is not possessed by any of his wives; he is possessed by his music. That is the truth. That is the only thing that I know that he lives for. He loves his music. I go to his shows and when he starts praising me, I feel on top of the world. I love it when he does that.
What is your relationship with the other wives?
We are very cool. There are some I consider myself ‘cooler’ with than the others. Their kids are like mine. We love one another. They understand that I am not getting more than they are getting. We try to be as supportive as possible; there is no hate. There is no foul word or ugly look. We always come together when we have to. Sunny is endeared by what he does. Nigerians love him as much as we do. We don’t ever think we would compete with his love for his music. I try to keep myself busy so I don’t feel too lonely.
Via - Punch

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